Governor Animal Clinic, Inc.

858-453-6312

In Memory...........

In remembrance of friends who have bid us farewell.......

****

"A good dog never dies, he always stays, he walks beside you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter's drawing near, his head is within our hand in his old way".
Mary Carolyn Davies

****

Smile, for we walked together for a little while.

****"Love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation".
Kahlil Gibran

****

The final cause of dogs having such short lives is in compassion to the human race; for if we suffer so much in losing a dog after an acquaintance of ten or twelve years, what would it be if they were to live double that time?
Sir Walter Scott

****

"Whoever has loved knows all that life contains of sorrow and of joy"
George Sand

****

Animals come and go with lessons to learn and lessons to teach.
So, we love them and learn.
We accept the pain of their going as we received the joy of their coming.
All of it is a blessing.

****

We have a list of books that can help you and your family with the loss of your pet. Most of us here have experienced the anguish of losing our own pets, and are always responsive to your feelings, and will sit with you to discuss your questions, help you understand some of the emotions that come with such a decision, or the devastating loss that comes without warning. We are deeply saddened every time we hear that a family has lost their pet, it is something that the heart just can't get used to or take lightly.
Please know we will do all that we can to help you through this difficult time, if and when it should arise. We also have names of counselors who deal exclusively with the sorrow and heartache of pet loss.

Group support and literature to help you through a difficult time................

Lorrie Greene, Ph.D 619-275-0728..........Bimonthly group sessions
www.petbereavement.com

San Diego County Pet Bereavement Program. The S.D. Pet Bereavement Program offers support and counseling for those pet owners who have lost or are anticipating the loss of a pet. Free telephone consultations and low cost counseling is available by a licensed psychologist.

Pet Loss Support Group San Diego Humane Society and SPCA 619-299-7012 x2311 www.sdhumane.org

One weekend morning and one weekday evening session per month. The Pet Loss Support Group is open to those ages 12 and up, including pet parents who are considering or preparing for euthanasia. Free. (Donations are appreciated)

Pet Loss Counseling, Center for Effective Living 858-566-3333 Meg Kaufman, MFCC.

Meg Kaufman is a marriage, family and child counselor in private practice. Her specialties include bereavement counseling, especially for animal loss. She works with children, adolescents and adults and is available to speak to groups concerning the loss of a pet. Her background includes counseling in schools, hospices, outpatient psychiatric facilities and in private practice.

Support Hotlines

ASPCA Pet Loss Support Hotline-toll free-877-474-3310

Washington State College of Veterinary Medicine--866-266-8635 509-335-5704

University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine--877-394-2273

Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University--508-839-7966

College of Veterinary Medicine at Cornell University--607-253-3932

Recommended books

(For additional available literature, check with your local library or bookstore)

The Tenth Good Think About Barney, Judith Viorst, Aladdin books 1975

The Old Dog, Abbott

Good-bye Max, Keller, Greenwillow Press

Lifetimes B. Mellonie & R. Ingpen, Bantam Books, 1983

When A Pet Dies, Rogers, Putnam Publishing

Oh, Where Has My Pet Gone?, Sibbutt, B. Libby Press 1991

I'll Always Love You, Wilhelm, Crown Publishers
Pet Love, Betty White, William Morrow and Company, 1983

When Your Pet Dies; How to Cope with Your Feelings, Quackenbush and Graveline, Simon and Schuster, 1985

Angel by My Side; The True Story of a Dog Who Saved a Man....and a Man Who Saved a Dog, Mike Lingenfelter and David Frei.

Geadon's Gift; Surviving the Loss of Your Pet; (Coloring Book), Cheryl A. Underhill and Kathy Ferdon.

Grieving the Death of a Pet, Betty J. Carmack, RN, EdD.

Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love, A Complete Resource to Help You, Dr. Lori Green and Jacqueline Landis.

Coping With The Loss of a Pet; Christina M. Lemieux, Ph.D., Wallace R. Clark, 1992

When Only Love Remains: The Pain of Pet Loss; Emily Margaret Stuparyk

Living Through Personal Crisis; Ann Kaiser Stearns, Ballantine, 1984

Oh, Where Has My Pet Gone?; Sally Sibbett

A Final Act of Caring: Ending The Life of an Animal Friend; Mary and Herb Montgomery

Good-bye My Friend; Mary and Herb Montgomery

A Special Place for Charlie: A Child's Companion Through Pet Loss; Debby Morehead

Pet Loss: A thoughtful Guide for Adults and Children H.A. Nieburg & A. Fisher, Harper & Row, 1982 (out of print-check library)

Maya's First Rose Martin Scott Kosins, Open Sky Books, 1992

Websites Pet Loss/Support Groups

www.petbereavement.comLorri A. Greene, Ph.D, Psychologist

http://hometown.aol.com/prayersforpets/home.html
A prayer line for pets dedicated to prayer requests for sick or lost pets and their owners.

www.aplb.org
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement; information on pet loss and bereavement

www.dogheaven.com
Pays tribute to dogs in life and death; memoriam and photographs; proceeds go to SPCA

www.eternalpet.com
Tributes to dogs in life and death; resources for grieving survivors

www.k9haven.org/cloud9
Remembrance of pets gone to Rainbow Bridge

www.lightning-strike.com
Pet loss support page

www.petsinneed.org/Library/Cry.html
Tips for coping with the loss of a pet; from American Humane Association

www.findinfo.com/petloss.htm
Articles, memorials, hotlines, discussion groups, counselors, pet memorial products, stories, poetry, etc.

members.aol.com/jshartwell/EUTH.htm
Guide to euthanasia and pet bereavement

www.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/ccah/petloss.cfm
University of California Davis Center for Companion Animal Health

Coping With the Loss of a Pet

Five Stages of Mourning

The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual's own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief.

In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage more or less intensely. The five stages do not necessarily occur in order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief. The death of your pet might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges. As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

1. Denial and Isolation
The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished pet is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.

2. Anger
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased pet. Rationally, we know the animal is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent it for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry.

The veterinarian who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease, or who performed euthanasia of the pet, might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them.

Do not hesitate to ask your veterinarian to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your pet's illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the cost of treatment. Discuss burial arrangements. Understand the options available to you.

Take your time. Both you and your veterinarian will find that honest and open communication now are an invaluable long-term investment.

3. Bargaining
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had sought medical attention sooner. If we got a second opinion from another doctor. If we changed our pet's diet, maybe it will get well. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.

4. Depression
Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of treatment and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our pet farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.

5. Acceptance
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.

Pets that are terminally ill or aging appear to go through a final period of withdrawal. This is by no means a suggestion that they are aware of their own mortality, only that physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response. Their behavior implies that it is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited. The dignity and grace shown by our dying pets may well be their last gift to us.

"Peppi" Eberl
6-94 ~ 1-07

***

“It is always said that however many wonderful and happy years a dog lives, you know that one day,
the day he dies,
your dog will break your heart”.
James Herriott

***

"Hannah"
2-18-93 / 5-11-06

How lucky we are to have known this creature who was so hard to say goodbye to.

What a gift to have been so taken that you will always see what is no longer there.

****

She was, if possible, dearer in her decrepit old age than in her radiant youth....calmly she accepted her infirmities, depending upon me with implicit faith. Eileen Gardner Galer

****

Death Is Nothing At All

I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just round the corner.

All is well.

-- Henry Scott Holland

"Casey" M.

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would have it no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan....."

Irving Townsend

*****

I Only Wanted You

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

*****

Lend Me a Pup

I will lend to you for awhile
a puppy, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
and to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe for two or three.
But will you, till I call him back
take care of him for me ?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be brief)
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief .
I cannot promise that he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy WIll Be Done,"
For all the joys this pup will bring,
the risk of grief you'll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back
much sooner than you've planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.
If, by your love, you've managed
my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you've loved,
cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
and know he loved you too.

Author Unknown

****

~For Corky~
Born Nov.9th, 1989~Went to sleep Feb. 4th, 2005
***

Her Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of her as gone away, her journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets, this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting from the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing that we could know today
How nothing but our sadness can really pass away.

And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever lost, and she was loved so much.

Ellen Brenneman

Each animal comes into our lives with a purpose. They choose us for very specific reasons. There is a reciprocal teaching arrangement that can only be learned through the special bond that is shared with our pets. When these lessons are learned, our pets entrust us with the greatest gift, honor, and challenge of all-to be able to assist them when the time comes to let go.

While it may be hard to believe right now, underneath that pain are the lessons, love, peace, and joy that you and your pet were brought together to experience.

Dear God,

Please remember a few things while taking care of my boy.

He likes to walk back and forth in the pond, chasing the blue gills, watching close for you to reel in the “big one”. He will then “hold” the stringer for you. Please take him fishing.

The lizards in the tree stumps won’t be safe anymore, so you’d better hide the lizards.

If you put dog bones in your robes, he will “wave“ at you until you give him one. Give him two.

His day bed is the one closest to the fireplace. If there is a girl lying in it he will come and rest his head on your knee until you remove her.

His bedtime is 8 pm; please help him up the stairs.

Don’t leave freshly baked pies on the counter, no matter how crippled he becomes, he will always eat it. Blueberry is his favorite, with just a little cinnamon.

If there is a child in the water, he will bring it out, especially if it is having a good time.

If there is a small child walking with a cracker, he will keep the child from overeating. Please give him a child to follow.

Don’t leave any ladders leaning against your house, he will be found on the roof.

I hope there is a playground nearby with lots of kids, he will wait his turn at the slide, and bark when he gets to the bottom.

Be careful when you spell out words like “C-A-R R-I-D-E”, and “E-A-T”, even “B-U-N-N-Y”. He knows how to spell, you had better be ready to follow through.

When you take him on a trip, and stop to rest, just tell him to “be a good boy”, he will lift his leg whether he has to go or not. He can’t “go” with a leash on, it makes him cough. In fact, don’t even show him a leash, he will choke.

He also can’t go for a walk without his Dummy in his mouth. He can’t make it past the gate, he likes the orange one the best.

The top of his head will become pointed if you don’t kiss it often during the day. Then his hats won’t fit.

He can’t sleep unless he is on the right side of the bed.

When you give him a marrow bone, make sure his mom is there too, he likes to use her back as a table and get her all slimy.

If you tell him to “stay”, make sure you come back to release him, he will stay there for days.

During the football games, if you get a chip, he gets a chip.

He doesn’t like the nuts with the shell on them, peel them please.

If you go to the lake then stop for ice cream on the way home, he always gets the first lick and then the bottom of the cone too, please.

Don’t use a buoy to tie off your boat, he will spend all afternoon trying to drag it to shore.

If you take him camping, he has to sleep between you and Mrs. God, on the softest part of the foam pad.

When the Japanese tourists get off the bus at the Grand Canyon have them take a group photo instead of one at a time, he gets too tired of smiling.

Don’t get mad at him when you come home and his head is in the dog food bin. He has to stretch his stomach muscles every now and then.

That's all for now God.

Tell him we love him, miss him and hope he likes the food up there.

From a Grateful Dog

You're giving me a special gift,
so sorrowfully endowed,
and through these last few cherished days,
your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
when your best friend is in pain,
and understanding earthly acts
will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic that will
once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
is why I look to you today,
to do this thing that must be done,
for it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
and chose you as my friend,
and why I've loved you all these years....
My partner till the end.
Please, understand just what this gift
you're giving, means to me,
it gives me back the strength I've lost,
and all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
for that is what friends do,
and know that what you do is right,
for I believe it, too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
and through your hand I feel,
the courage that's within you,
to grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
dear friend, and let me run,
once more a strong and steady dog,
my pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
for I won't be far away,
forever here, within your heart,
and memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
your ever-faithful friend,
and in your memories I'll run,
.........a young dog once again.

After a While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open,

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid flight.

And after a while, you learn

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure..

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn and learn…

With every goodbye, you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

Argus Institute, Colorado State University www.argusinstitute.colostate.edu

Common Grief Symptoms

Although grief responses, in general, differ from one person to another, there are many predictable expressions of grief. These expressions occur on physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual levels. Before, during, and after loss, grief may appear in several of the following forms.

Physical: crying, sobbing, wailing, shock and numbness, dry mouth, a lump in the throat, shortness of breath, stomach ache or nausea, tightness in the chest, restlessness, fatigue, exhaustion, sleep disturbance, appetite disturbance, body aches, stiffness of joints or muscles, dizziness or fainting

Intellectual: denial, sense of unreality, confusion, inability to concentrate, feeling preoccupied by the loss, experiencing hallucinations concerning the loss (visual, auditory, and olfactory,) a need to reminisce about the loved one and to talk about the circumstances of the loss, a sense that time is passing very slowly, a desire to rationalize or intellectualize feelings about the loss, thoughts or fantasies about suicide (not accompanied by concrete plans or behaviors)

Emotional: sadness, anger, depression, guilt, anxiety, relief, loneliness, irritability, a desire to blame others for the loss, resentment, embarrassment, self-doubt, lowered self-esteem, feelings of being overwhelmed or out of control, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, feelings of victimization, giddiness, affect that is inappropriate for the situation (nervous smiles and laughter)

Social: feelings of withdrawal, isolation and alienation, a greater dependency on others, a rejection of others, rejection by others, a reluctance to ask others for help, change in friends or in living arrangements, a desire to re-locate or move, a need to find distractions from the intensity of grief (to stay busy or to over-commit to activities)

Spiritual: bargaining with God in an attempt to prevent loss, feeling angry at God when loss occurs, renewed or shaken religious beliefs, feelings of being either blessed or punished, searching for a meaningful interpretation of a loved one's death, paranormal visions or dreams concerning a dead loved one, questioning whether or not souls exist and wondering what happens to loved ones after death, the need to "finish business" with a purposeful ending or closure to the relationship (a funeral, memorial service, last rites ceremony, good-bye ritual)

© Argus Institute
Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

Understanding Grief

Grief is one of the most normal and natural emotions that we can feel; yet it is one of the most misunderstood. Grief is a normal, and unavoidable reaction to the loss of treasured loved one. Because grief often involves very painful and difficult feelings, most of us think that our grief is wrong or crazy in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. Grief is a very healthy psychological response that requires expression and acknowledgement. Attempts to suppress feelings of grief can sometimes actually prolong the healing process.

Our discomfort with grief comes from a variety of sources, but can often be traced back to how our own families have dealt with loss, and how society in general responds to a bereaved person. Unfortunately, many of the responses we hear reinforce the notion that grief is unnatural and perpetuate the myths that grief should be avoided and expressed only behind closed doors. Society tends to reward the more unhealthy responses (stoicism and avoidance) while punishing the more healthy ones (expression and acceptance). Some common responses we hear when a death occurs are as follows:

Try to stay busy.

Big boys don't cry.

No sense dwelling on the past.

You must be strong right now.

Support groups are for weaklings.

Out of sight, out of mind.

He had a good life.

Think of all your good memories.

You still have other pets.

Count your blessings.

God needs him more than you do.

If you look around you can always find someone who is worse off than yourself.

These responses suggest to us that we should not feel badly about our losses. They encourage us to avoid our feelings and put pressure on us to get over the loss as soon as possible. Grief just doesn't work that way and cannot be put onto a time schedule. Everyone grieves in their own time and in their own way, and creating artificial deadlines or expecting grief to disappear overnight only creates more stress for the bereaved person.

These responses also minimize the griever's pain and do not acknowledge the loss that the griever feels. They also suggest to us that we have no right to be upset or distressed about the loss. These kind of responses can make a griever feel guilty or ashamed about being upset and reinforce the notion that grieving is wrong.

Other common responses like... life goes on... you'll find new friends to love or just go out and get yourself another dog suggest that loved ones are easily and readily replaced. They tell the griever to handle the pain by replacing the loss and forgetting the past. The notion of replacing a loss as a way of handling the grief comes to many of us from a very early age. Many of us can probably recall from childhood losing a favorite toy or beloved object and being told, "don't feel bad, we'll buy you a new one tomorrow. Responses like these minimize and complicate the griever's pain by insinuating that the loss was relatively unimportant and should be fixed by replacement.

Given that our society promotes many of these myths about grief, it is important to remember that a grieving person needs acknowledgement, validation, and support. One of the best ways to deal with our grief is to understand that it is normal and to not make any judgements about our emotions. There are times when we can handle these feelings with the support of family and friends, and there are other times when professional assistance may be very helpful. There are many professional counselors, therapists, and members of the clergy trained in the areas of loss and grief who can provide assistance through the grieving process. There are also many books, articles, and other resources about the grief process available in most public libraries and local bookstores.

© Argus Institute
Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

Factors That Can Complicate Grief

If one or more of these factors are present, the grief process may be complicated and more difficult to complete.

No previous experience with significant loss, death, or grief

Other recent losses

A personal history involving multiple losses

Little or no support from friends or family

Societal norms that trivialize and negate the loss

Insensitive comments from others about the loss

Feelings of guilt or responsibility for a death

Untimely deaths like those of children, young adults, or young companion animals

Deaths that happen suddenly, without warning

Deaths that occur after long, lingering illnesses

Deaths that have no known cause or that could have been prevented

An unexplained disappearance

Not being present at death

Not viewing the body after death

Witnessing a painful or traumatic death

Deaths that occur in conjunction with other significant life events like birthdays, holidays, or a divorce

After death anniversary dates and holidays

Stories in the media that misrepresent or cast doubt on medical treatment procedures

Advice based on others' negative experiences with death or on inaccurate information about normal grief.

© Argus Institute
Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

Finding Support

You may feel the need to share your grief with others but find it difficult to get the support you need. It is often doubly hard when the loss involves your companion animal. Family and friends might take the time to listen, but occasionally they many not be able to understand the significance your pet had in your life or the extent of your grief.

If you need to talk to someone who will understand your feelings of loss and grief, the Argus Institute is available to you. Argus counselors are professionals trained to deal with issues of loss or grief. They can provide you with reading resources, counseling, or support in many situations including how to talk to children about pet loss, body-care issues, or finding a support group.

In addition, Argus counselors can provided support if your companion animal has been injured or has been recently diagnosed with a serious illness. They can help during the initial shock, confusion, and anger you might feel when learning of your pet's condition. They also are available to assist you during times of difficult decision-making, particularly decisions regarding treatment or euthanasia. They are available to listen and to help you sort out your feelings.

The Argus Institute is a service of the Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital and is provided for Colorado State University clients. Non-Colorado State clients receive one free support session and an educational pet loss packet.

The Argus Institute is committed to providing Veterinary Teaching Hospital students, faculty, and staff with supportive care and respect as they relate to their feelings and experiences in the clinical setting via grief counseling, peer support, and methods of stress management.

To Contact the Argus Institute:

Visit the Argus Institute office in the new wing of the hospital (room 109) or call (970) 297-1242.
© Argus Institute
Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

Deciding to Euthanize your Pet

A Guide for Euthanasia Decision-Making

Making a decision to help your companion animal die can be one of the most difficult and painful decisions you will ever make in your life. We have developed this guide to help you with this difficult decision.

Once you realize the time for your pet's euthanasia is near, it is helpful to do as much planning and preparing ahead of time as possible. The purpose of this list is to make you aware of the many choices you have about your pet's death. Please discuss any decisions you are uncertain about with your veterinarian.

When preparing for your pet's euthanasia, it is helpful to:

Ask your veterinarian to describe the methods and details of the euthanasia procedure.

Decide whether or not to be present during your pet's euthanasia.

Decide who else (if anyone) you would like to have present during the euthanasia. If you wish to be alone during the procedure, you may still want to ask a friend or family member to accompany you to the appointment so you will have support before and afterward.

Plan the logistical details of your pet's euthanasia.

When should it take place?
Where should it take place?
How will you care for your pet's body?
What will you transport/bury your pet's body in if you take it with you?

Consider a post-mortem examination. Post-mortems can potentially answer the questions you may have regarding your pet's illness or injury.

Think about how you want to say goodbye and/or memorialize your pet.

© Lagoni L., Butler C, Hetts S. The Human-Animal Bond and Grief.W.B. Saunders; Philadelphia, 1994.

The Argus Institute at the Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

My Forever Pet

There's something missing in my home,
I feel it day and night.
I know it will take some time and strength,
Before things feel quite right.

But just for now, I need to morn,
My heart, it needs to mend.
Though some might say "It's just a pet",
I know I've lost a friend.

You've brought such laughter to my home,
and richness to my days...
A constant friend through joy or loss,
With gentle, loving ways.

Companion, pal, and confidante,
A friend I won't forget.
You'll live for always in my heart,
My sweet, forever pet.

********************************

THE OLD MAN AND HIS DOG

He carried his dog to the S.P.C.A.
For the old man will be put in a home,
But they told him can't have an animal there...
so tomorrow he'll move in alone.

With tears in his eyes, he handed his dog
To the woman who worked there that day..
But sorrow had filled the poor ol' man's heart
When he handed ol' Laddie away.

And Laddie just sat there, a twelve year old dog
As if he somehow understood,
And he wouldn't hurt his master...
So he acted the best way he could.

He wagged his short tail and the love in his eyes
Just seemed to be saying good-bye...
The old man started to walk away slow
Then turned back and started to cry.

"Give me my buddy, I'll take him back now...
We've been too close to part in this way
I'll find a way to keep him
After all, I've got one more day".

The old man and Laddie were both found dead
with money to buy a headstone...
They were buried together,
And the epitaph read:

Together we found a new home

Near this spot
Are deposited the Remains
Of one
Who possessed Beauty
Without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
And all the Virtues of Man
Without his Vices.

Dog people will understand. Those who say, "It was just a dog. Get over it," will not.

But I'm not writing to those people today. I'm writing to those who know what joy a dog can bring. And Murphy brought us great joy. I don't think there was a day she didn't make me laugh.

My partner, Jack, always said she was an angel sent to us from above. I'm not sure "angel" is the right word, and our neighbors would surely agree with that. But I understand. She was a gift, as all dogs are.
Yes, she was just a dog. But she was our dog. And we loved her. Quirks and all.

Murphy was a soft-coated wheaten terrier, a feisty lot, and she more than lived up to her Irish clan's reputation. She had her definite likes and dislikes, from the mailman (pure evil) to fashion (keep it simple).
She never tolerated poorly dressed people. She could spot them a block away. A sinister-looking hat. A too-long coat. Furry boots. All of that sent her into a barking frenzy, exposing fashion victims for what they were.
Hundreds of times I crossed the street, never knowing what to say. "Sorry, my dog doesn't like your outfit" never seemed quite right.
For years, we spent each morning in the woods of D.C.'s Rock Creek Park, exploring. And that included the creek. Murphy took to water like her ancestors took to Guinness.
She'd wade out until she was just covered, then wag her tiny tail so furiously that a fountain of spray would appear at her rear, an act people came from far and wide to see.
And back home, tired at the end of the day, she'd claim my seat the moment I stood up. I then moved on to another perch. It just seemed the natural thing to do.

Her dying in the dining room seemed right. She spent so much time there, sitting by my chair, waiting for whatever would "drop" her way. She preferred white meat and warm buttered rolls, but she wasn't choosy. She accepted all gifts from above.

But in the end, she would give the ultimate gift: Dying at home on her terms. No vet. No needle. No final trip in the car with her in my arms.

Where Murphy once raced through the woods and into the creek, our new pup, Maggie, will follow come summer.
With any luck, there will be another 14 years of sunrise strolls, dropped rolls, lost seats.
And, over time, Maggie will grow to know us as well as Murphy once did, and love us just the same. Quirks and all.

Because that's what dogs do.

unknown

Governor Animal Clinic, Inc.

3240 Governor Drive
San Diego, CA 92122

858-453-6312

Fax: 858-453-8312