In rememberance of friends who have bid us farewell.......

****

"A good dog never dies, he always stays, he walks beside you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter's drawing near, his head is within our hand in his old way".
Mary Carolyn Davies

****

Smile, for we walked together for a little while.

****"Love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation".
Kahlil Gibran

****

The final cause of dogs having such short lives is in compassion to the human race;  for if we suffer so much in losing a dog after an acquaintance of ten or twelve years, what would it be if they were to live double that time?
Sir Walter Scott

****

"Whoever has loved knows all that life contains of sorrow and of joy"
George Sand

****

****

We have a list of books that can help you and your family with the loss of your pet. Most of us here have experienced the anguish of losing our own pets, and are always responsive to your feelings, and will sit with you to discuss your questions, help you understand some of the emotions that come with such a decision, or the devastating loss that comes without warning. We are deeply saddened every time we hear that a family has lost their pet, it is something that the heart just can't get used to or take lightly.
Please know we will do all that we can to help you through this difficult time, if and when it should arise. We also have names of counselors who deal exclusively with the sorrow and heartache of pet loss.

Group support and literature to help you through a difficult time................

Lorrie Greene, Ph.D  619-275-0728..........Bimonthly group sessions
www.petbereavement.com

Here are a few recommended books;  (For additional available literature, check with your local library or bookstore). 

The Tenth Good Think About Barney,  Judith Viorst, 1975

Pet Love,  Betty White,  William Morrow and Company, 1983

When Your Pet Dies; How to Cope with Your Feelings,   Quackenbush and Graveline, Simon and Schuster, 1985

Angel by My Side;  The True Story of a Dog Who Saved a Man....and a Man Who Saved a Dog,  Mike Lingenfelter and David Frei.

Geadon's Gift; Surviving the Loss of Your Pet; (Coloring Book),  Cheryl A. Underhill and Kathy Ferdon.

Grieving the Death of a Pet, Betty J. Carmack, RN, EdD.

Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love, A Complete Resource to Help You,  Dr. Lori Green and Jacqueline Landis.

*****

 I Only Wanted You

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.    
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

*****

Lend Me a Pup

I will lend to you for awhile
a puppy, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
and to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe for two or three.
But will you, till I call him back
take care of him for me ?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be brief)
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief .
I cannot promise that he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy WIll Be Done,"
For all the joys this pup will bring,
the risk of grief you'll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back
much sooner than you've planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.
If, by your love, you've managed
my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you've loved,
cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
and know he loved you too.

 Author Unknown

****

"Peppi" Eberl
6-94 ~ 1-07

***

“It is always said that however many wonderful and happy years a dog lives, you know that one day,
the day he dies,
your dog will break your heart”.
James Herriott

***

"Hannah"
2-18-93 / 5-11-06

How lucky we are to have known this creature who was so hard to say goodbye to.

                                 What a gift to have been so taken that you will always see what is no longer there.

****

She was, if possible, dearer in her decrepit old age than in her radiant youth....calmly she accepted her infirmities, depending upon me with implicit faith.      Eileen Gardner Galer

****

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL

I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just round the corner.

All is well.

                                                                                                          -- Henry Scott Holland

"Casey" M.

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.  Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would have it no other way.  We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan....."

Irving Townsend

~For Corky~
Born Nov.9th, 1989~Went to sleep Feb. 4th, 2005
***
Her Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of her as gone away, her journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets, this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting from the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing that we could know today
How nothing but our sadness can really pass away.

And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever lost, and she was loved so much.
                                                                                                                                                                    Ellen Brenneman

Each animal comes into our lives with a purpose.  They choose us for very specific reasons.  There is a reciprocal teaching arrangement that can only be learned through the special bond that is shared with our pets.  When these lessons are learned, our pets entrust us with the greatest gift, honor, and challenge of all-to be able to assist them when the time comes to let go.

While it may be hard to believe right now, underneath that pain are the lessons, love, peace, and joy that you and your pet were brought together to experience.

Please remember a few things while taking care of my boy.

He likes to walk back and forth in the pond, chasing the blue gills, watching close for you to reel in the “big one”. He will then “hold” the stringer for you. Please take him fishing.
The lizards in the tree stumps won’t be safe anymore, so you’d better hide the lizards.
If you put dog bones in your robes, he will “wave“ at you until you give him one. Give him two.
His day bed is the one closest to the fireplace. If there is a girl lying in it he will come and rest his head on your knee until you remove her
His bedtime is 8 pm; please help him up the stairs.
Don’t leave freshly baked pies on the counter, no matter how crippled he becomes, he will always eat it. Blueberry is his favorite, with just a little cinnamon.
If there is a child in the water, he will bring it out, especially if it is having a good time.
If there is a small child walking with a cracker, he will keep the child from overeating. Please give him a child to follow
Don’t leave any ladders leaning against your house, he will be found on the roof.
I hope there is a playground nearby with lots of kids, he will wait his turn at the slide, and bark when he gets to the bottom.
Be careful when you spell out words like “C-A-R R-I-D-E”, and “E-A-T”, even “B-U-N-N-Y”. He knows how to spell, you had better be ready to follow through.
When you take him on a trip, and stop to rest, just tell him to “be a good boy”, he will lift his leg whether he has to go or not. He can’t “go” with a leash on, it makes him cough. In fact, don’t even show him a leash, he will choke.
He also can’t go for a walk without his Dummy in his mouth. He can’t make it past the gate, he likes the orange one the best
The top of his head will become pointed if you don’t kiss it often during the day. Then his hats won’t fit.
He can’t sleep unless he is on the right side of the bed.
When you give him a marrow bone, make sure his mom is there too, he likes to use her back as a table and get her all slimy.
If you tell him to “stay”, make sure you come back to release him, he will stay there for days.
During the football games, if you get a chip, he gets a chip.
He doesn’t like the nuts with the shell on them, peel them please.
If you go to the lake then stop for ice cream on the way home, he always gets the first lick and then the bottom of the cone too, please.
Don’t use a buoy to tie off your boat, he will spend all afternoon trying to drag it to shore.
If you take him camping, he has to sleep between you and Mrs. God, on the softest part of the foam pad.
When the Japanese tourists get off the bus at the Grand Canyon have them take a group photo instead of one at a time, he gets too tired of smiling.
Don’t get mad at him when you come home and his head is in the dog food bin. He has to stretch his stomach muscles every now and then.
That's all for now God.
Tell him we love him, miss him and hope he likes the food up there.

From a Grateful Dog
You're giving me a special gift,
so sorrowfully endowed,
and through these last few cherished days,
your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
when your best friend is in pain,
and understanding earthly acts
will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic that will
once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
is why I look to you today,
to do this thing that must be done,
for it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
and chose you as my friend,
and why I've loved you all these years....
My partner till the end.
Please, understand just what this gift
you're giving, means to me,
it gives me back the strength I've lost,
and all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
for that is what friends do,
and know that what you do is right,
for I believe it, too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
and through your hand I feel,
the courage that's within you,
to grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
dear friend, and let me run,
once more a strong and steady dog,
my pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
for I won't be far away,
forever here, within your heart,
and memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
your ever-faithful friend,
and in your memories I'll run,
.........a young dog once again.

Websites Pet Loss/Support Groups

www.petbereavement.com
Lorri A. Greene, Ph.D, Psychologist
http://hometown.aol.com/prayersforpets/home.html
A prayer line for pets dedicated to prayer requests for sick or lost pets and their owners.
www.aplb.org
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement; information on pet loss and bereavement
www.dogheaven.com
Pays tribute to dogs in life and death; memoriam and photographs; proceeds go to SPCA
www.eternalpet.com
Tributes to dogs in life and death; resources for grieving survivors
www.k9haven.org/cloud9
Remembrance of pets gone to Rainbow Bridge
www.lightning-strike.com
Pet loss support page
www.petsinneed.org/Library/Cry.html
Tips for coping with the loss of a pet; from American Humane Association
www.findinfo.com/petloss.htm
Articles, memorials, hotlines, discussion groups, counselors, pet memorial products, stories, poetry, etc.
members.aol.com/jshartwell/EUTH.htm
Guide to euthanasia and pet bereavement

AUTUMN

What do we do when our loving pets face the last leg of the race? We do all we can to help them finish well, of course.

We take time to read the unspoken needs of the friends we've come to know so well.  We give the simple reassurance of a loving touch when the old boy seems confused for no reason.  

We groom them faithfully, but more gently, as age brings muscle wasting, and the arthritic bones aren't so well padded.  

We learn to slow down for their sake, as they enjoy the scent of the wind, or track a visitors trail across their yard.  We expect to be inconvenienced, and aren't angry when it happens.  

We watch for pain and treat it, watch for changes in vision and hearing and do what we can to help preserve those precious senses for as long as possible.  We take care of their teeth, and make sure their food is a manageable texture for them.  We remind them of the need for a potty walk when they seem to forget.

We remember the little rewards. We scratch the graying ears and tummy, and go for car rides together.

When the pet we love has an unexplained need for comfort, we give it freely. When infirmities bring a sense of vulnerability, we become our old guardian's protector.  

We watch their deepest slumbers, when dreams take them running across long-forgotten fields, and we remember those fields too.

When they cannot stand alone, we lift them. When their steps are uncertain, we steady them.  

And if their health fails, it falls to us to make the choice that will gently put them to rest.

But until that is absolutely necessary, we pause to let the autumn sun warm our old friend's bones. And we realize, autumn is not a bad time of year at all.  Old age is not a disease or a reason to give up. It is a stage of life that brings its own changes.

Autumn can be a beautiful time of harvest.  And, sometimes, the harvest is love. --Author Unknown

Jean-Clawed
11-91/4-05

"Like all vets I hated doing this, painless though it was, but to me there has always been a comfort in the knowledge that the last thing these helpless animals knew was the sound of a friendly voice and the touch of a gentle hand".

James Herriot

Poem for Dog Lovers

Hello. I've been expecting you for quite some time.
Here, come sit beside us for awhile.
and let me tell you about this old friend of mine.
She might look tattered or maybe old
But I won't say goodbye until you've been told.

She had the brightest eyes I had ever seen,
And wore a beautiful fur coat that would out shine a queen.
She was never prissy but walked with an aire ......
And oh so polite, you could take her most anywhere.
She could run like the wind and could catch anything she chased
But she protected and sat with me when I had problems to face.

You could not find a friend nearly so dear.
Because no matter the trouble she always stayed near...
She has never asked for much from me;
Just to love and respect her and I think you'll agree.
To give her a good meal plus a nice warm bed is not much to ask;
When she has given me all her love and to her this was no task.

Now I understand you have a schedule to keep.
But I have a small favor before she nods off to sleep.
Please fold your wings around her and let her feel young while in no pain;
Dear Guardian Angel of Pets,
please keep her safe and happy until I see her again.

My Forever Pet

There's something missing in my home,
I feel it day and night.
I know it will take some time and strength,
Before things feel quite right.

But just for now, I need to morn,
My heart, it needs to mend.
Though some might say "It's just a pet",
I know I've lost a friend.

You've brought such laughter to my home,
and richness to my days...
A constant friend through joy or loss,
With gentle, loving ways.

Companion, pal, and confidante,
A friend I won't forget.
You'll live for always in my heart,
My sweet, forever pet.

********************************

THE OLD MAN AND HIS DOG

He carried his dog to the S.P.C.A.
For the old man will be put in a home,
But they told him can't have an animal there...
so tomorrow he'll move in alone.

With tears in his eyes, he handed his dog
To the woman who worked there that day..
But sorrow had filled the poor ol' man's heart
When he  handed ol' Laddie away.

And Laddie just sat there, a twelve year old dog
As  if he somehow understood,
And he wouldn't hurt his master...
So he acted the best way he could.

He wagged his short tail and the love in his eyes
Just seemed to be saying good-bye...
The old man started to walk away slow
Then turned back and  started to cry.

"Give me my buddy, I'll take him back now...
We've been too close to part in this way
I'll find a way to keep him
After all, I've got one more  day".

The old man and Laddie were both found dead
with money to buy a headstone...
They were buried together,
And the epitaph read:

Together  we found a new home

Near this spot
Are deposited the Remains
Of one
Who possessed Beauty
Without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
And all the Virtues of Man
Without his Vices.

Coping With the Loss of a Pet          

Five Stages of Mourning

The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual's own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief.

In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage more or less intensely. The five stages do not necessarily occur in order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief. The death of your pet might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges. As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

1. Denial and Isolation
The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished pet is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.

2. Anger
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased pet. Rationally, we know the animal is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent it for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry.

The veterinarian who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease, or who performed euthanasia of the pet, might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them.

Do not hesitate to ask your veterinarian to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your pet's illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the cost of treatment. Discuss burial arrangements. Understand the options available to you.

Take your time. Both you and your veterinarian will find that honest and open communication now are an invaluable long-term investment.

3. Bargaining
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had sought medical attention sooner. If we got a second opinion from another doctor. If we changed our pet's diet, maybe it will get well. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.

4. Depression
Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of treatment and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our pet farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.

5. Acceptance
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.

Pets that are terminally ill or aging appear to go through a final period of withdrawal. This is by no means a suggestion that they are aware of their own mortality, only that physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response. Their behavior implies that it is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited. The dignity and grace shown by our dying pets may well be their last gift to us.

Dog people will understand. Those who say, "It was just a dog. Get over it," will not.
But I'm not writing to those people today. I'm writing to those who know what joy a dog can bring. And Murphy brought us great joy. I don't think there was a day she didn't make me laugh.
My partner, Jack, always said she was an angel sent to us from above. I'm not sure "angel" is the right word, and our neighbors would surely agree with that. But I understand. She was a gift, as all dogs are.
Yes, she was just a dog. But she was our dog. And we loved her. Quirks and all.
Murphy was a soft-coated wheaten terrier, a feisty lot, and she more than lived up to her Irish clan's reputation. She had her definite likes and dislikes, from the mailman (pure evil) to fashion (keep it simple).
She never tolerated poorly dressed people. She could spot them a block away. A sinister-looking hat. A too-long coat. Furry boots. All of that sent her into a barking frenzy, exposing fashion victims for what they were.
Hundreds of times I crossed the street, never knowing what to say. "Sorry, my dog doesn't like your outfit" never seemed quite right.
For years, we spent each morning in the woods of D.C.'s Rock Creek Park, exploring. And that included the creek. Murphy took to water like her ancestors took to Guinness.
She'd wade out until she was just covered, then wag her tiny tail so furiously that a fountain of spray would appear at her rear, an act people came from far and wide to see.
And back home, tired at the end of the day, she'd claim my seat the moment I stood up. I then moved on to another perch. It just seemed the natural thing to do.
Her dying in the dining room seemed right. She spent so much time there, sitting by my chair, waiting for whatever would "drop" her way. She preferred white meat and warm buttered rolls, but she wasn't choosy. She accepted all gifts from above.
But in the end, she would give the ultimate gift: Dying at home on her terms. No vet. No needle. No final trip in the car with her in my arms.
Where Murphy once raced through the woods and into the creek, our new pup, Maggie, will follow come summer.
With any luck, there will be another 14 years of sunrise strolls, dropped rolls, lost seats.
And, over time, Maggie will grow to know us as well as Murphy once did, and love us just the same. Quirks and all.
Because that's what dogs do.                                        unknown

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY